I’m sure if she wrote a book that said, “Here’s one possible way to raise your kids, and parts of it worked for me and parts didn’t,” she probably wouldn’t have gotten so much attention.  But say you’re better than American culture, and there is bound to be blow back.

Tiger Mom’s techniques may work well (or not) if you live in Tigerland. If you raise your tiger using Tiger Mom techniques, and you live in, say Dolphinville, your kid probably won’t fit in too well and won’t develop necessary dolphin skills.

Every culture has great moms. They are great because they are lovingly raising their children to be successful in their own culture, by their own cultural standards. Parenting and culture are not one-size-fits-all.

Americans are very direct and expect others to be equally direct. They do not read between the lines as well as cultures with indirect communication styles, and have difficulty understanding and recognizing nuance and inference.

I’m still trying to wrap my mind around this one: You don’t have the right to be quiet, because you didn’t say you were going to be quiet, you were just, well, quiet. No rights for you!!

As our newest judge, a.k.a the Wise Latina, pointed out, “criminal suspects must now unambiguously invoke their right to remain silent”.  As if not speaking is somehow ambiguous.

Dominicans and Americans have very different ideas of what makes a good party.  I don’t like Dominican parties. Their key ingredients? MUSIC and DANCING. The music is loud to the point where you can’t hear the person next to you or even your own thoughts. At my niece’s  college graduation party, I spent most of the time outside, away from the noise. Food is optional, conversation is optional. Drink, music and dancing are required. Also, I dance like a BIG GRINGA, so I’m in no hurry to hit the dance floor where everyone age 2+  has killer moves.

Dominican parties have no start time or end time. They start when you show up, and they finish, as my husband likes to say, when the adults are drunk and the children are crying.

Being Jewish-American, I think the keys to a good party are great FOOD and CONVERSATION. God forbid someone goes hungry or leaves thinking you had a lousy spread. Music is good, but not so loud that you can’t mingle and have great conversation, which is much more important than great dancing.

What makes for a good party in your culture? Have you ever attended a party in a different culture? What was it like?

According to Geert Hofsted, (whose 5 dimensions of culture are foundational to intercultural theory) America scores the highest of all countries in the dimension of Individuality.  We value the self first,  the concept of the individual second, and believe in personal independence and personal responsibility. If Americans have the highest score of all nations in the dimension of individuality, that means we are extremists in this area. And extremism, unless we’re talking shoes or chocolate, rarely leads to much good.

For most Americans, having a communal or group focus is antithetical to their cultural beliefs. Why should I put the benefit of the group above the benefit of the individual??? I’m not responsible for you. Take care of yourself.

Most industrialized  countries already have a national commitment to the health of their citizens.  I’m glad we’re heading in that direction.

I know the Chinese eat many more parts of animals than Americans, who tend to eat only the meat and a few organs.  Still, I thought, “Wow. That is totally disgusting.”

But Americans, too, are eating some pretty gruesome things.  The FDA has over 3000 approved chemicals that can be added in food processing. There are  colors, preservatives, thickeners, stabilizers, emulsifiers, anti-caking agents, flavor enhancers, and antibiotics to name a few.

Thrombin, commonly known as meat glue, was just recently approved by the EU as a food additive. Recently approved? American have been eating it for years. Thombin, which was originally developed to stop bleeding during surgery, is also used to hold together chicken nuggets.

Americans have no idea  the number and quantity of the chemicals that pass through their bodies each year. At least with the duck, you know it’s a duck.

Because they are women, these soldiers will have access to the local social network of information that is common among rural women. Male marines would never have access to this network.

Just as women in business have gone from using male models for communication and leadership to valuing and incorporating female models, ie. relationship-based, women in the military are now being valued for the unique skills and access their gender provides.

Men Shopping              Women Shopping

I recently read about “women’s general polychronic tendency when shopping for groceries and clothing” and was relieved to learn that there is actually a cultural term for what some call wandering aimlessly.

Polychronic People are multitrack and circular.

I’m not wandering aimlessly. I’m multi-track and circular. “Yes, I came to the store to buy bread, but this chicken would be great for next week’s barbecue (I could freeze it) and Carla needs a bottled drink for her field trip tomorrow and more hair conditioner, and ooh! look! Whole Milk Stony Field French Vanilla is on sale– I could stuff Calvin with some calories off of that….”

Being a mother requires polychronic tendencies. If moms did things in a sequential, linear manner, like monochronic people do, very little would get accomplished.

Moms and Polychronic People:

• Do many things at once. Time for different tasks can overlap,  as long as all tasks get done.
• Are relationship oriented: Interruptions (think kids) are normal, expected and often welcome.
• Meet time commitments depending on circumstances and relationship.
  What mom hasn’t had her plans change instantly because the baby suddenly fell asleep?
• Change plans often and easily when circumstances change.
  Either that, or go crazy.

93% of communication is nonverbal. The actual words account for only 7% of communication.

How closely your nonverbal style matches someone else’s will affect how well the two of you can communicate. The closer the styles are, the better the communication. Styles that are different are more likely to result in prejudice, conflict, and communication breakdown.

What Reid was saying, basically, is that a White American audience will be receptive to Obama’s appearance (light skinned), and vocal qualities (“no Negro dialect”). People, rightly or wrongly, have expectations and preferences for nonverbal communication. It’s the “Oh, he’s like me” moment that lowers communication barriers.

Biases and prejudice are also grounded in nonverbal communication and body language. People make judgments, both positive and negative, about other cultures’ body language and tone, which then impacts communication.

People who interact with diverse cultures will have greater awareness of different nonverbal communication styles. Those who understand and can use a variety of these styles will have a larger skill set to draw on and greater chance at communication success.

Nonverbal communication includes:

• facial expression
• body posture
• touching
• movement
• physical distance
• hand gestures
• eye contact
• grooming/dress
• Tone and vocal qualities (dialect)

A recent NY Times article illuminated one generational difference regarding the meaning and message of a favorite children’s holiday: Halloween. Some schools, concerned that Halloween constumes might be either too scary or too gross, are creating new prohibitions on what is an acceptable costume to wear to school and even looking to encourage “positive costumes.”

This is most definitely a new paradigm for a new generation of kids who really should just be wrapped in bubble wrap. For goodness sake!! It’s Halloween!! It’s supposed to be scary!! It’s supposed to make you jump and scream and run down the street with your friends away from the spooky house with the crazy old lady before you gorge yourself on Snickers, Smarties, Twizzlers, Blow Pops, Reeses and Milky Ways!!

Let children experience a full range of emotions. Not everything has to be a lesson in political correctness. Let them have fangs and claws and blood dripping down their maniacal faces. It’s HALLOWEEN!!

I have always said that language and culture are inseparable. In fact, all  CAL Learning programs are founded on that belief. If language and culture cannot be separated, and Arabic language was created for religious purposes, I would expect Arabic culture and language to be closely tied to religion.

One example of the connection between language and religion is the basic greeting. The Arabic greeting, as-salamu alaykum, which means “peace be upon you”, is from the Quran. The language comes from the religion.

Are you an Arabic speaker? Can you give other examples of the connection between Arabic language and religion?